It was winter. This meant it was snowmobile season, and we were preparing to take a group out on a tour. We had the machines lined up and ready to go. It was a day like any other.

Except Alec Baldwin was there. He was insisting we provide him with a servant for the journey… we complied.

It was a large tour, I think I counted sixty people at one point. It was going to be a long day. Except, it wasn’t, because the sun was already setting and we were running out of light very quickly.

I needed to go along on the tour to help out, but suddenly I needed to go somewhere else. I had to pee bad. I told my dad I’d catch up as soon as I could and I rode my machine in the other direction.

Time travel. Because it does that sometimes.

I needed to find the group and I couldn’t. the snow had melted, and I was left riding on dirt down the streets to get to the fields where there was still a bit of the white stuff.

Suddenly someone I knew was chasing me down yelling, “Hey! I know where they are! We have to get you to them now!” It was a friend and his daughter. Since his daughter was wearing a skirt and tank top, I offered them a ride to get them out of the cold faster. They hopped on with me and we took off all the while telling me it was important that I get where I was going as quickly as possible.

The minute I approached the treeline I could see headlights coming toward us. I had found my tour!

Two motorcycles blasted by me down the trail. I waved. My dad came around the corner on a four wheeler and skidded on the snow. He rolled into a barbed wire fence. He was okay, but informed us that a deer had caused him to turn sharply and wreck. Sure enough! There was a deer running in circles right there in front of us.

The deer hopped up on two legs and grabbed me, pulling me into a waltz. I couldn’t get away! He had a firm grip for an animal with hooves. One of the other guys cut in to rescue me, but the deer wouldn’t quit waltzing.

Then I noticed these two singing sticks. They were like broom handles, but dressed up in paper uniforms. In high-pitched, cartoony voices they were repeating over and over, “It was foretold, it was foreseen.” I won’t lie, I did not like these sticks! Someone looked at the sticks and said, “Oh my word! It’s Batman!” I looked at them confused. They told me, “You just can’t see it because you don’t want to believe, but that’s Batman!”

The sticks fell over into the snow.

I woke up.

—

This is a true story. Meaning, I had this dream. This was an actual thing that my brain did to me. You guys, my brain is insane, or doing drugs behind my back. Either way, I need to have a stern talking to with it.

(Also, you wish your dreams were this amazing!)