the substandard superhero squad (part 3)…

This story inspired by Angela and Aubrey Webber of The Doubleclicks and their song Worst Superpower Ever.

Last we were aware, The Substandard Superhero Squad had successfully fought crime! They had stopped a major bank robbery and basked in the glory. Then the trio had raced off into the sunset towards their next adventure…

At the mall, Lady C’est Chic is trying on every dress in the fancy dress department. Knowing that a few of her fellow superheroes will be wearing some of them does not deter her from also donning those specific gowns. Instead, she insists that she must also try them in order to assure herself that she would have worn it better. While C’est Chic is buried in piles of crinoline and taffeta, the men are elsewhere, doing more manly things.

In the food court, The Napinator is perusing the fare of garlic fries and pizza slices with Captain O Negative. The two are about to make a purchase when a woman screams in a nearby store. They race off to see what kind of dastardly deed is being perpetrated. Pushing a button on his wristwatch, Captain O sends a signal to C’est Chic that there is trouble. Lady C’est Chic, zipped up in a luxurious red, satin number decides not to answer his call.

The two men quickly arrive at the location where the screams are coming from. Expecting to find a woman in grave danger, The Napinator sends out a wave of lethargy across the room. However, they soon find that the scream has come from two women fighting over a toy. It seems to be the last large, fluffy, loud thing on the shelf, and both women want it. The lethargy induced by The Napinator causes both women to lose interest in the toy, drop it where they were fighting, and walk away sighing.

Captain O Negative, realizing he can make a buck off of the situation, snaps up the toy, purchases it, runs to his moped, and heads back to the lair to place the toy on an online auction. The Napinator, now with nothing better to do, heads off towards Lady C’est Chic. Finding her staring at herself in the mirror, he decides to wait outside, but before he can leave the room he notices that C’est Chic appears to be in some sort of trance. Her eyes stare unblinkingly into the mirror as she gazes at herself, completely enraptured.

Unsure what to do, The Napinator summons Captain O. Then, trying to figure things out on his own, he waves his arms wildly around C’est Chic, and begins making faces at her in the mirror.

Has Lady C’est Chic been bested by her own vanity? Will the ridiculous behavior of The Napinator get him thrown out of the store and banned from the mall for good? Will Captain O Negative make the big bucks from his online toy auction? Tune in next time to find out!

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