legitimacy…

There have been multiple posts and conversations involving me where I insist quite adamantly that I am a writer, that it doesn’t matter the unpaid status of any of my projects, writing is my profession. Recently I scored a job actually writing. For money. For real. It seems like the kind of job I could turn into something substantial and real. Here’s the thing though, I feel guilty. I feel guilty that I suddenly have this tingling thrill of legitimacy when I have been insisting for years now that I was already legitimate in my job as a writer. It makes the whole thing sting just a little, until I remember that being paid to write is what I want more than anything. I try very hard to avoid hypocrisy in my life, but I suppose every now and then it just happens. Maybe the thrill is coming from knowing that they naysayers will have to start getting on board now a bit more than from my own feelings of validation. It will be nice when I tell people that I am a writer to actually have a visible project to back it up with. I have known for ages that writing is who I am, now I can force the idea onto others with slightly more legitimacy, and that feels pretty damn good. It feels like triumph.

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