This is kind of short… but it’s my birthday and I just didn’t feel like writing anything longer. Enjoy!

If there was one place to visit, it would be tomorrow. But just for a visit. Tomorrow is really too scary to spend much time there. Maybe a brief moment of the future is good, but too much future can give one a headache.

After talking to people that run things like races, I have decided that there must be a parasite that attaches to people causing them to do it without their permission. I say this because I have yet to meet a runner that does not complain about running. The best place to take note of this is at a cross country track meet for a high school or college. They clearly all have some sort of uncontrolled madness.

Once I saw a squirrel run behind a rock, hide, wait, and then jump out at someone walking by. I do not think we should be concerned about computers becoming sentient, we should worry about squirrels figuring out how to operate machine guns.

When boredom strikes, it is rarely a good idea to go shopping at a craft store. You will come out with sequins, industrial strength glue, yarn, and some sort of unpainted wood figure. They will then sit in your cupboard until you are once again bored at which time you will forget about them, remember that going to craft stores stops boredom, return to said store, and buy more sequins…

Buying toddlers noisy toys is only a good idea if they are toddlers belonging to someone other than one’s self.

It is usually not okay to bite people at random. However, on occasion, it isn’t the worst thing a person can do.