My blog has been sadly neglected recently. Every day I spend at least a little time thinking that I should be spending more time with it, but ever day I get side tracked. The book has been suffering from mild neglect as well. The comic strip has been pulling away a little too much of my time. I admit, I miss my book. I miss her. I miss the comfort and agony all wrapped up into one tumultuous bundle that comes from putting so much effort and love into one area. She takes so much from me, and yet she really does give as well. The comic has come to a point where I believe I may be able to concentrate less on it now. I suppose we shall see.
Today I shared a piece of my soul with a lot of people. I know it is probably crazy, but everything I write holds on to me and becomes part of me. All of the silly poems, all of the not so silly poems, letters, stories, essays, even my comic strip. They are all me. Turning in a paper in college used to be the closest that I came to allowing people to read what I write. I developed my blog to help ease some of that; to help myself get used to the idea of the world hearing my voice. It has helped I suppose, at least mildly. However, the minute I picture some stranger ogling my creative output, I feel a little cheap, a little dirty. It’s mine! Don’t look at it like a piece of meat.
The fear is slowly subsiding. The test strip has gone up. First reactions are coming in. So far, nothing terrible; nothing I cannot handle. So far, people seem to be enjoying this one little piece of me. That is what I want. I want people to enjoy it. I want people to laugh. At the same time, I want to keep it all to myself. I want to be selfish.
June is coming. I think I am ready… at least, I hope I am.