Yesterday I wanted to get a bunch of things done around the house. Yesterday I had grand designs of getting hospital bags packed and ready to go, running laundry, vacuuming, cleaning the kitchen and the bathroom, and dusting the house. Yesterday I felt like doing a lot, but today I am tired. I didn’t sleep well last night, and I woke up feeling like I hadn’t rested at all. I did clean up my desk and organize Jenna’s play area in the living room, but so far that is all I have managed.

Instead of cleaning, I’m sitting here doing nothing and wishing for things that I can’t afford. I would LOVE to organize the corner that we are setting up for the baby in our room. I would love to set up a bassinet and a diaper changing area. I would also love to get a few new unisex sleepers to have to take to the hospital. It really sucks being married to a teacher who is in between school and a job. Even if a teaching job does come through, we won’t have a paycheck until September. So, all of our spare money is going to bills and I am feeling sorry for myself. We also really need a car seat. I am so picky when it comes to them and I can’t bring myself to get a used one. I just really want to know that my baby is safe and that the seat won’t fail on me because of some unknown problem from the prior owner.

I feel like part of what is keeping me from doing the cleaning I need to do is the fact that I want to get ready for the baby and I feel like I can’t. I need to quit whining and just realize that sometimes things don’t go the way you want. Usually I do a really good job of living frugally and not needing THINGS to be happy, but right now I would really like to have a few new things and the money to go buy them… sigh…