WARNING: This post most certainly does contain things that may make you uncomfortable or offend you. However, there were no animals harmed in the process of creating said post.
Today while in the shower (yeah… there’s a “might make you uncomfortable” part) I spit on Josh. Not like a me spit, but like a I sucked water into my mouth and spit it at him. He looked at me and said, “What the hell?!” I looked at him and said, “What? I was being a dolphin.” He said, “A dolphin? More like a water camel.”
Out of revenge, I pretended to put conditioner on his back after he was all rinsed off. Out of revenge for that, he turned on the water while I was rinsing my hair and then blamed it on Charlie flushing the toilet. Out of revenge for that… well, I didn’t have anything. Besides, I was too busy laughing uncontrollably at this point.
Suddenly Josh screamed, “Watch out for the emus!” When I asked him what he was talking about, he said, “I was trying to make you jump.” After assuring him that his plan had been stupid because there were no emus in the bathroom, I began to dry off. However, all of a sudden Josh decided that he would poke his hand around the shower curtain and pretend that it was an emu head. I began to laugh uncontrollably once again and almost fell over in the tub. Due to the thunking sound of me almost falling, Josh stumbled and knocked over Charlie’s water bowl. I then asked him where the supposed emus were to have come from, and he said that they lived in my butt (again, uncomfortable and offensive… sorry about that) and that they came out to avoid the natural predators. He then stated that he didn’t want to know what those predators were but he thought the must be some kind of cat. My husband is CRAZY!
Josh left to get Jenna up from her nap and I thought I was safe from his shenanigans. However, he misunderstood me asking Jenna a question and said, “Did you just say, ‘Yes heir goober face, bring them!’?” I assured him that I had not, but once again I was thrown into more fits of uncontrollable laughter.
Ah jeeze… We need to get out more! It is really a wonder that we have any friends… heehee