About 2 minutes after leaving work…

“Josh, I’m excited to have a baby. You know what the only problem is? The problem is that right now Jenna is small, but in 7 months she will be almost two. I’ll have a baby, but my other baby will be old. She’ll be walking and talking. She’ll probably have a boyfriend and won’t have any time for us anymore. The only thing she’ll want us for is money. She already knows how to use a checkbook. Crap! What if she gets her nose pierced?!”