Today I felt old. I woke up and went to Minority Voices in American Literature, but then I left early. “Why?” you may ask. Well, today began another year of m.o.m.s. It’s true, I go to a group for moms. For some reason, this made me particularly bitter today. I sat and listened to someone say that they used to feel like they didn’t belong there; like they weren’t a stay at home mom type and that it was only temporary and therefore they didn’t really fit in. However, now they felt differently and so on… I realized that I feel the same way that she did. I’ve always had a problem with identity, and as awful as this may sound, I don’t think of myself as a mom. I think of myself as Jenna’s mom, but as far as the outside world goes I just want to be Krissy. Well, more specifically Kirssy:
I sat and thought for the rest of the group where I was in life. I had told no less than 5 women that I was a full time student at NNU and most of them responded with the shock and awe face and then said something almost identical to, “I could never do that and be a mom. Are you crazy?” I always responded with, “Yep, maybe a little.” But here’s the thing, I find education very important, and I would never have life another way. What does this mean? Am I crazy? Am I unique in this view? Am I just self-righteous? Should I want to be above all else a wonderful housewife and mother? Should I give up on my desire for education?
My mind is done thinking about this, so I’m going to give it a rest… but seriously… Krissy: mom… Really?