My dearest baby girl,
When you entered this world
I was less concerned
for your future as a woman.
However, my child,
now I know I must arm you,
train you for battle.
There are those that will tell you
that you are not capable,
that you deserve less.
I am here to say:
you have more power,
than you are currently aware.
Never let anyone tell you
there is something wrong with you
because your chromosomes
are not x and y. You are amazing!
You must be strong
and let those in charge know
you will not be silent
you will not just give up.
Sweet one, you may struggle,
but do not become bitter.
Keep your chin up,
because you can make change.
You can keep yourself safe.
When they come,
telling you that you must
give away your rights,
scream loudly. They cannot
take what is not given.
Hold on tight to
your dreams. Whatever
they say, whatever they do,
maintain your sense
of self. My dear, I will fight
until I can fight no more.
I will kick, I will scream,
and I will do my best
to make sure that the freedoms
and rights, women of old fought for
are not cavalierly given away.
Watch me, and learn.
Be brave, make them listen,
you will be prepared.
Tag Archives: my uterus
to my daughter on the future of women’s rights…
Filed under poems and the like
if i could hold all of their hands, and dry all of their tears, I would…
I’ve been thinking about the video at the bottom of this post a lot over the last day. It is stunning to me how correct she is. Painted into a corner: no job, no husband or other support, no job… what would you do? Can you really, honestly say without being there? It has become increasingly clear that those representing us as a nation are unwilling to offer support to those in situations like this. Public healthcare budgets are being cut, housing aid and WIC programs are losing funding right and left. What are women to do, really? Painted into the same corner, I wish I could say that I would definitely choose life, but I don’t think I can. I was trying to put myself in the situation, trying to understand what runs through somebody’s head the moment before they make their final choice, I was trying to understand that level of desperation, and suddenly, I got it.
I got pregnant with my daughter out of wedlock. Her dad and I had been dating on and off for years, and at the time we found out we were going to have a baby, we were more off than on. We briefly discussed abortion, and decided we would just get married and raise our child. However, that wasn’t the easiest choice, nor was it a choice that saved us from a lot of condemnation. I still heard the comments about unwed mothers. I still had to listen to people in my church and at my Christian university cluck their tongues and watch them shake their heads. No, it didn’t feel like a very safe place. We were able to receive a bit of state aid, and luckily we had a lot of help from family and friends, but I began thinking yesterday, what if we hadn’t? What if we had been in a different state, far away from family and friends? What if he hadn’t wanted to stick around and help me? Would we have found the help we needed? Would I have? I’m not entirely sure that the answer to that question is yes.
It seems to me that part of the current crisis is this: in the same breath you cannot condemn people for both sides of the same coin. You cannot condemn them for keeping a child, and condemn them for aborting it. If you cannot offer support and love through an unwanted pregnancy, then you can’t expect women to think of it always as a viable choice. If you want women to keep their children, than you need to stop treating them like lepers and pariahs and start treating them like family, or your dearest friend.
Here is my challenge to those that would condemn women for their unwanted pregnancies. Instead of creating laws that push minutia and ideology over compassion, why not start building up community programs to help those that do chose to keep their children? Give them a safe place where they won’t feel scathing eyes and wagging tongues. Hold their heads through their morning sickness, wipe the tears off their cheeks, be there to swaddle their babies and change a few diapers. Do not force them to accept your God in order for them to receive your aid. Reach out a hand in love. Do not tell them they are going to hell if they do chose abortion; just make your option seem like the easier choice. The old adage, “You win more flies with honey than vinegar,” is absolutely true. You will win more people to your side with love, aid, compassion, and unconditional acceptance than you will with picket signs and laws that do things like force ultrasounds on scared, lonely women.
I most definitely consider myself a Christian. However, I refuse to do the judging for the God I choose to follow. I refuse to believe that I am in any way better than anyone else, and I refuse to put myself on such a pedestal that I can no longer empathize with those around me or offer my unconditional love.
I want to say that this video breaks my heart. There are so many people in pain in this world, and I can’t imagine the salt they must feel pouring into their wounds every hour that people speak to them like they are the scum of the earth. This issue is not just about abortion, it is not just about pro-life or pro-choice, it is about so much more than that. It is about freedom being stripped away bit by bit, it is about women feeling trapped and lost, it is about rapists getting away with horrendous crimes because women are too scared to speak, or the system is too deaf to hear their screams.
In this country, for some reason, victims are being criminalized to the point where they aren’t speaking. Why speak out when you know you won’t be heard? I have a friend, an amazing, amazing man named Matt, who is making a difference in this world. His organization is not strictly related to this specific issue, but he is giving victims a voice, and I thank him for that. As Matt would say, “Speak your silence.” As I would say, “Don’t just speak your silence, speak their silence too.”
Filed under how a passive agressive girl screams, rants
not-a-limericks: current politics addition…
These are not-a-limericks focused on my recent encounters with news stories around the country. They all have the new uterus laws that are sweeping the nation in common, and they are all a tiny little bit of me venting my angst towards everything going on right now. I didn’t really mean for this to turn into Politics on Krissy’s Blog week, but apparently that’s what it is! We’ll return to regularly scheduled ranty, odd poetry, random rambling, passive-aggressive screaming, general me type madness as soon as possible…
There once were some men with no class,
with laws most abhorrent to pass.
They stood with their beer guts
and called women sluts
but ultimately most people knew that they were just trying to be heard because they were sad and lonely and needed the attention so desperately that they were willing to say that women would lie about rape and should be interrogated and tested before they were actually allowed to say that was what had occurred to them and that they had not just had sex with their husbands and/or boyfriends and then become later miffed at said men (because seriously, who would actually think any of that anyway?).
A lady with an ultrasound machine
performed them behind a screen
to prove she was right
she squealed with delight
and tried to compare the ultrasounds of women that were eager to meet the babies in their stomachs with those forced on women wanting an abortion by stating that the procedure was not, in fact, invasive and that it was beautiful and that if women only knew, they would want it done to them even though she never once spoke to a woman during her time at the statehouse who was seeking abortion or one that had been raped so essentially the entire spectacle was fallacious and harmful all around.
A woman was charged with a crime
and told she would serve her time.
Her baby had died,
“Innocent!” she cried
but you see her miscarriage was clearly her fault and she should have to pay for the life of the child that had been inside her even though the pregnancy had been wanted and she had chosen not to abort, which, oddly enough in this case, would have possibly saved her a life behind bars.
There once was a girl with a cause,
that gave others she knew great pause,
still she stood up and spoke
and took flack from folk
for she knew that ultimately this was all ridiculous and that her points and side were valid and true to her beliefs and she vowed to keep speaking up as long as it was needed and to keep writing letters to those in power asking them to stop what they were doing and realize it was harmful to the moral fiber and all around well-being of the country.
Oh hey! I get to post a source or two (or four) today!
AP article entitled Abortion foes do live ultrasounds in Idaho Capitol
Idaho Senator Chuck Winder says things here and here
Because miscarriage isn’t hard enough, now women might be charged with murder after losing their child.
Filed under poems and the like, rants
post script…
I’ve been annoyed lately. More than annoyed. I’ve been in a state of confusion and emotional exhaustion. The current state of this country has me feeling a bit helpless. The government trudges on slowly taking rights from one group or another, and people stand on the sidelines patting them on the back. Those with the supposed moral high ground stand on their soapboxes and claim superiority without caring what their words are doing to the people around them.
I have words of wisdom for everyone, “Be excellent to each other.” Bill and Ted had it right.
People will not always agree with one another, but that doesn’t mean they can’t speak in love and with respect.
My advice? Hold your tongues. Do not speak words of judgement. If you have not lived through a situation, don’t claim knowledge on it. It is impossible to understand feelings and actions if you have not experienced them. You can make an educated guess, but when you say youknow you will only end up hurting people.
Angry words, judgmental words, hateful words, will never sway anyone’s opinion of a situation. Veiled threats and idle speculation will never make anyone feel comfortable enough to feel welcomed and loved. Words matter, choices matter, the way you treat people, matters. It most certainly makes a difference to the people who have been through horrific events when you choose not to belittle their feelings and their experiences.
People are getting life all wrong. It isn’t about who can win. It isn’t about passing the most laws to back what you think is right, it is about caring for the people around you and turning our empathy chips up to high. It’s about understanding that people feel hurt and are in pain, and then it’s about trying your best to put yourself in their shoes and just loving the heck out of them.
Disagree with me. I’m fine with that. However, do not think to know me. Do not believe that you know where I am coming from unless you take the time to speak with me and understand me. I stand up for things I believe in. I fight for my freedoms and my rights. I spend time trying my damnedest to make the world a livable place for my children. My path is set and I’m sure of my beliefs and my stances.
I. Will. Not. Be. Shaken.
Not by words from the outside.
Not by any person.
I’m sure of my faith and I’m comfortable with myself. I’m content to be where I am.
Filed under how a passive agressive girl screams
come one, come all…
It’s time for a good old fashioned rant! That’s right, I know it’s been a while since I’ve been amped up about something enough to go off about it, but it has happened again!
Here is the deal, folks: I am a fan of my uterus. Yep. I said it. My uterus managed to house two children that are mostly normal and relatively awesome. It’s true that once a month my uterus and I have a bit of a tousle, but I’m still pretty darned glad that I am a girl, so I deal with the cramps.
Know what I’m not a fan of? The government telling me what is best for my uterus and for me. See, I’m pretty sure I have a better handle on my lady bits than the ladies and gents running this country. I know, for instance, that my bits do not slut around. I know that I would never make the choice of an abortion. (I know this because I did seriously think about it once when I was 21, in college, not married, and unsure if I could really parent a kid.)
I think the morning after pill is a great idea. Let’s go the giant leap and say you aren’t a slut, you aren’t wont to sleep with anyone in fact, and therefore you do not take birth control. Then, one day, someone, anyone, takes advantage of you. Right now, you can march down to the drugstore and grab a pill that is made up of a high dose of hormones. It’s not a lot different than if you were on the pill at the time of intercourse. It doesn’t abort a pregnancy that already exists, it just prevents one from happening. It’s a pretty neat little pill, actually. In a matter of moments a woman can go from panic to peace knowing that she is protected from an unwanted pregnancy that she was not (in any way) asking for. Anyhow, that little pill is (quite wrongly) considered an abortion pill by some. A lot of those same people are currently passing laws saying that the government has the right to force a trans-vaginal ultrasound on women seeking the legal procedure of having an abortion. That little pill? Also totally legal. How long until those same people want to outlaw it and force women to potentially have to make a much worse, much more painful decision several months into pregnancy or after birth?
It’s a slippery slope. Georgia is currently looking into not allowing a woman to have labor induced after miscarriage. The senator sponsoring the bill said that he had seen pigs and cows go through the process of a natural stillborn birth when asked about it. Seriously, when he was asked about a bill involving a woman’s uterus, his response was about cows and pigs. I’m glad a good old boy farmer knows cows and pigs. I myself am not a farm animal. Although, there have been places and times where women were forced to reproduce with certain mates and to a certain end, I’m pretty glad that my life is currently not like that. I’d rather not be equated to breeding stock if at all possible.
Did you know that there was a time when the church disallowed masturbation? Not because they found it to be disgusting or anything like that, but because they said that sperm should not be expelled unless it resulted in possible procreation. Sometimes, people make weird rules. I’m waiting for someone to decide that I can’t have my ovaries removed if I so choose because there are still perfectly good eggs lurking about, and those perfectly good eggs might result in life. It may sound like a ridiculous jump, but it has, in a way, happened before. (History does have a tendency to repeat itself, just look at women’s fashions.)
It’s a scary time to me. My uterus is mine. We’re pals for the time being and I know what’s best for the two of us. I would thank the government to stay out of it, and just leave us alone.
I take my freedom seriously, and I’m not too keen on anyone trying to take it away from me. I believe that this country was founded by a few Christians and a lot of people that were outcasts and lost. They had fled the tyranny of rulers who had committed heinous acts against their people in the name of God and government. They did not found a country based on Christianity, they founded a country based on freedom. The freedom to live and worship no matter who you were or where you came from. With banishment and execution fresh in their minds, they sought something better for everyone, not just for them. I want a country based on love and equality as much as possible, and I especially want a country where bigotry and prejudice are set aside for freedom. I truly do not care if I do not agree with someone on a religious level, when it comes to humanity and the basic rights of people, I know where I stand: I want liberty and I do not want to have to go back to the days of torture and death to remember just how valuable and important it is.
Filed under how a passive agressive girl screams, rants
