Category Archives: nerdy stuff

a tale of 346ish legos…

Yesterday I bought my very first actual Lego set! I’ve had the big tub of Lego pieces since I was a kid, but never an actual, honest to goodness set. I chose to get Big Ben from the architecture collection, and I have to say, it was a blast to put together! This is pretty much how it went:

Once upon a time I built Big Ben. That’s right, it was me all along. When it was completed, it was a majestic site to behold.

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But then, seemingly from nowhere, a Dalek appeared!

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It started exterminating every tiny thing it could find! And if that wasn’t bad enough, a second Dalek came along to party as well!

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While they were exterminating, The Silence paid us all a brief visit.

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Wait, was I saying something? That’s so weird, I feel like I’m forgetting something important and there are suddenly all of these marks all over my hands, but anyway back to the menace at hand: DALEKS!

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They exterminated bugs and other little Lego people. Then they tried to exterminate me, but they failed! Mostly because they are tiny and I’m gigantic in comparison. Oh right! Marks! On my hand! That’s what they meant! The Silence was there!

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Ugh, this is me getting very old. You see, I seem to have forgotten my place again. What was I talking about? Daleks? Big Ben? That’s right. Big Ben had been created and then there was a Dalek attack! See?! Daleks!

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And that’s pretty much how things ended. The Daleks conquered everyone but me. (Because I’m huge!) The Doctor never showed up because I didn’t pull him out of any of my mini figure packs. It was a good day for Daleks, and a bad day for bugs.

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And that is the end of my story about what happened when I put together my first set of Legos.

(Also, that’s another one off of my bucket list!)

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this is ivan…

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Ivan, the homicidal love narwhal!

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ides of march, an explanation…

Soothsayer is all, “Yo Caesar! Beware the Ides of March, my friend.”

Caesar is all, “Whatever, man. The 15th of March means nothing to me.”

Soothsayer responds, “Your funeral. See what I did there? You like that?”

Caeser is like, “Stop it with the puns. You’re lame. Now leave.”

The Ides roll around and Caesar calls his friend Soothsayer, “The Ides of March are come.”

Soothsayer replies, “Aye, Caesar, but not gone.”

Caesar has a good laugh at his buddy and walks out the door to attend an important meeting. Then Caesar’s friend Brutus walks in, and stabs him in the stomach.

The end.

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the substandard superhero squad (part 3)…

This story inspired by Angela and Aubrey Webber of The Doubleclicks and their song Worst Superpower Ever.

Last we were aware, The Substandard Superhero Squad had successfully fought crime! They had stopped a major bank robbery and basked in the glory. Then the trio had raced off into the sunset towards their next adventure…

At the mall, Lady C’est Chic is trying on every dress in the fancy dress department. Knowing that a few of her fellow superheroes will be wearing some of them does not deter her from also donning those specific gowns. Instead, she insists that she must also try them in order to assure herself that she would have worn it better. While C’est Chic is buried in piles of crinoline and taffeta, the men are elsewhere, doing more manly things.

In the food court, The Napinator is perusing the fare of garlic fries and pizza slices with Captain O Negative. The two are about to make a purchase when a woman screams in a nearby store. They race off to see what kind of dastardly deed is being perpetrated. Pushing a button on his wristwatch, Captain O sends a signal to C’est Chic that there is trouble. Lady C’est Chic, zipped up in a luxurious red, satin number decides not to answer his call.

The two men quickly arrive at the location where the screams are coming from. Expecting to find a woman in grave danger, The Napinator sends out a wave of lethargy across the room. However, they soon find that the scream has come from two women fighting over a toy. It seems to be the last large, fluffy, loud thing on the shelf, and both women want it. The lethargy induced by The Napinator causes both women to lose interest in the toy, drop it where they were fighting, and walk away sighing.

Captain O Negative, realizing he can make a buck off of the situation, snaps up the toy, purchases it, runs to his moped, and heads back to the lair to place the toy on an online auction. The Napinator, now with nothing better to do, heads off towards Lady C’est Chic. Finding her staring at herself in the mirror, he decides to wait outside, but before he can leave the room he notices that C’est Chic appears to be in some sort of trance. Her eyes stare unblinkingly into the mirror as she gazes at herself, completely enraptured.

Unsure what to do, The Napinator summons Captain O. Then, trying to figure things out on his own, he waves his arms wildly around C’est Chic, and begins making faces at her in the mirror.

Has Lady C’est Chic been bested by her own vanity? Will the ridiculous behavior of The Napinator get him thrown out of the store and banned from the mall for good? Will Captain O Negative make the big bucks from his online toy auction? Tune in next time to find out!

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the substandard superhero squad (part 2)…

This story inspired by Angela and Aubrey Webber of The Doubleclicks and their song Worst Superpower Ever.

When we last were with our heros: Lady C’est Chic was mid manicure, Captain O Negative had been captured by a drably garmented and blood-soaked group of  villains, and The Napinator had been clobbered by an unknown someone or something with a baseball bat. Will they be able to turn their dire situation around? We are about to find out.

Lady C’est Chic looks up from putting platinum polish on her long, rounded nails. Seeing her partner lying on the ground with a masked man hovering over his crumpled body wielding a baseball bat and letting out a sinister sneer from between his lips, she chucks her bottle of polish towards the masked man’s head. The bottle hits him squarely in the temple and he passes out. Feeling like she has contributed enough, C’est Chic retrieves her bottle, nudges The Napinator with the toe of her leather boot, and returns to her moped to finish painting her nails.

The nudge from Chic’s boot wakes up The Napinator. When he sees the man who had previously clubbed him, he immediately recognizes his arch nemesis, Bat-arm Man! One of the man’s arms was not an arm and, in fact, a baseball bat. In early superhero elementary school, The Napinator had known (then) Bat-arm Boy. He had made fun of him relentlessly for the silly wooden block attached where his arm should be. Since then, he had been stalked by the boy (now man) and dealt with being whacked over the head occasionally at extremely inopportune times, like this one.

The Napinator quickly ties up Bat-arm Man and goes back to pushing out another yawn bubble. Meanwhile, in the bank, Captain O Negative has been blindfolded. The bad guys pretty much figure that as long as he cannot shoot blood at them, he is basically harmless. They are, once again, loading money into bags when they begin to feel listless. Captain O Negative hears their gun drop to the ground for the second time, and quickly removes his blindfold.

With a flourish, he distracts the robbers with another stream of blood and exclaims, “Aha! I’ve got you now!” Taking advantage of their disorientation and disgust, he ties them up, and leads the slightly tired innocents out into the daylight.

Once again united with the other two members of his trio, Captain O mounts his scooter. Amidst a smattering of applause, The Napinator stands tall and addresses the crowd, “Once again, we have saved the day! Now, my fellow citizens, we are off! To the mopeds!”

Putting on her helmet, Lady C’est Chic expresses her clear disinterest with a humphy, “Whatever.”

With a final cry of, “We must away!” Captain O Negative revs his machine and the three are off to their next adventure!

Is this the end of the story for this ill prepared crew? Are there more adventures in their future? Will Lady C’est Chic find the perfect dress to wear to the ball?  Tune in next time for all of these answers, and more!

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